Posts Tagged ‘real’

Lately I’ve been starting big debates with some of my gay rights posts on Facebook. One of the most mind-boggling hurdles someone threw my way was “We need to deal with the rights of common citizens that are being taken away first before we go granting new rights to people.” (Idea quoted not original text.)

And it’s been sitting on my mind for a while driving me nuts. I’ve been wondering if I should actually back down a bit and let other things get handled first. Besides, gay marriage might only be important to me for personal reasons where other things may affect our country more. But then I realized something huge.

By saying anyone can get married, except gays, you are taking rights away from a people group. These are not extra rights being given to homosexuals. Right now the government is basically saying “heterosexuals, you can take your relationship farther than homosexuals can.” And that is where the special treatment lies.

Don’t try to tell me that gays can cheat the system and get protections through wills and stuff. Yes they can but they shouldn’t have to go a complicated route with all sorts of paperwork and layers. If heterosexuals can go in, pay a small fee and walk out protected of many things by laws, so should homosexuals. If you want to make homosexuals take the difficult road, then abolish government protected marriage and walk down that path yourself.

I am happily married in what the world views as a heterosexual marriage but my husband and I would gladly give that up to walk that paperwork and layer road if it meant everyone was on equal footing. But since we aren’t I will fight for the rights that have been denied to an entire people group because they love someone who is their same sex.

Anti-gay rights people are withholding rights. They are bigots and they will lose this fight. I don’t need to prove that point. Time will do it for me and anti gay groups will be looked at the same way we today look at anti-black groups.

This is not a religious fight. No one gets to excuse their bigotry because God doesn’t approve of gays. It is a rights fight for the rights of our fellow citizens.


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Due to my last few posts, I have received many comments, some phone calls, and a few emails regarding different aspects that I have touched on and many that I haven’t. I would like to take this post to directly address a number of things.

First and foremost, I would like to apologize to non-judging religious people who I have represented incorrectly or underrepresented completely. You come from all religions. Whether your spiritual book of rules tells you that a certain lifestyle choice is wrong or not, you also understand that it is not your place to judge those who are outside of your religion. You have come in many forms but the active readers that I have noticed most are of the Christian variety. I know many of you personally, and I love you all greatly. And if I don’t know you, I still love you for what you are standing for in this. Thank you all!

Secondly, it has been shown to me that I am not being entirely fair to any group by finding the worst of some groups and setting them against some of the best (in my opinion) of another. That is very wrong of me to do. I am sorry for that and look to change this in how I approach my issues from now on.

Thirdly but really just a secondly afterthought or 2.5 or so, even though I have posted harsh or biased views in the past, I will leave up those blogs. I don’t intend to erase a mistake but wish to leave them up and admit I was wrong. From now on though, I will show Christians in support of gay rights, atheists making a good name for us by supporting this or that, and try my hardest to do as much research as I can about something before I post it. (OR at least note where I am lacking.)

Next, I’d like to thank everyone who has sent me thoughts in one way or another due to recent posts. You have all given me so much to think about. Those of you who have shared your views though they differ greatly from mine, I thank you most. I know it isn’t always easy doing so but it’s important. I have been wrong in the way I have presented some things and extremely biased in others. Thank you for helping me see this.

Finally, I wished that this blog could be a place for respectful debates and peaceful discussions of varying views and it really has been. To all of my readers, even the silent ones, thank you. In just yesterday, I hit 100 views. That amazed me. I can only imagine what some of you are not saying about how my posts make you feel and I just wanted to say that if you are giving me any time of the day, thank you. Whether I have your attention for a minute or for hours after every post, thank you for letting me talk to you. Thank you for taking the time to hear my thoughts.

And even more lastly, many of you have asked about the pastor in the video that talked of caging homosexuals so that they could die off without reproducing. Before I give you his name or the church he belongs to, I’d like to plead with you. Whether you are Christian or atheist, belong to his denomination or not, I beg of you to be respectful. If you write a letter or even give him a call or pay him a visit, do not lower yourself to his level. Instead, conduct yourselves with dignity and show him we do not approve of what he says. If you cannot because your emotions will carry you too far, please refrain until you can speak softer. You will be waiting with me. And we will have to work on that very much. Now for his name: according to this article here and by typing the name into google to verify, he is Charles L. Worley of Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, N.C.

Again, thank you all so much for every bit of feedback you have given, every word of mine that you have read and every thought of mine that you have entertained. I look forward to many more posts with you.

Thoughtfully and humbly yours,
~Author Faerie

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A big problem. I am extremely mad.

There is no excuse for this.

You, pastor in video, are the reason hate runs rampant in our. I was always taught the Christians were good and peaceful. I still believe that some are. But you make that very hard for the ones that actually are. Do you remember “love your neighbor as yourself” or “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” or even “do onto others as you would have them do to you”? Tell me, would you like to live like this? I do not care how you excuse your hate. I will not tolerate this. You are the mind of those I will stand against.

Christians who really are peaceful and outraged by this man, please don’t let your church be run by someone like him. Please stay peaceful. You can not like the act of homosexuality, but please never reach the point where you threaten the LGBT community like this. Thank you for your peacefulness. I wish I could hug you. We need more like you.

EDIT: According to this article here and by typing the name into google to verify, he is Charles L. Worley of Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, N.C.

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In reading through my daily Google Reader blogs, I came across this very intriguing article about eating disorders through a blog by one of my favorite authors, Kristin Cashore.

Eating disorders are a big deal and caused by something bigger than just a bad body image. For most of my life, I have been underweight and very conscious of it. Many people were concerned for me and would get annoying by obsessing over my eating habits. Some people teased me and called me anorexic because of my size. Anorexia nervosa is a very serious condition and I fortunately never fell into it.

I skipped meals at times. Like if I was having too much fun or was too engrossed in something and didn’t want to take a break to eat. I got too busy sometimes and eating just went to the back of my mind. And there were times my mood or stress level just kept me away from food.

But skipping meals and being underweight don’t automatically mean someone has an eating disorder. They can be signs, yes, and should be looked at and taken seriously if someone has many signs. (I am grateful of those that were genuinely concerned for me.) But if you think someone is at risk, don’t assume anything.

Instead do something radical – talk to them. Don’t just ask them what they think about their body image. Heck if that was the test everyone would be diagnosed. Everyone can come up with something they don’t like about their bodies. Try talking to them about some of the other causes that article mentions. Ask about their home life and their relationship to their parents. Or talk about their interests to see how much exposure they get to “better” body types than their own. It also wouldn’t hurt to reassure them of what you find attractive or lovely about their body.

I have been around many people who don’t like their body image. And I’m sure you could name a few that are close to you that don’t like what they look like. But that doesn’t mean they are at risk of an eating disorder. They could just be needing some positive reinforcement. So give it to them – but never lie to them. Point out the things in their appearance that you love about them. Is it their eyes? What about their smile? Maybe you actually like the figure that they hate. Tell them. And tell them why.

A word to those of you that may feel awkward doing this: point it out and tell them why it is attractive to the sort of people that they would want to find them attractive. But just be honest. And if it’s too weird, have someone else say something. (No bribing some random person to flirt with them though. That’s really lame.) Or just stick to personality compliments.

People have bad days. They may get stressed and not eat. Or feel ugly after a break-up. There are so many reasons for bad days, skipped meals, eating a lot and bad body image notes. That doesn’t mean someone is at risk. And there are many other factors for eating disorders. Talk to people – deeper conversations. And if you are still worried and concerned that they are at risk, talk to someone else. Share what you found, ask them for advice and go from there. And if you should need it, the anorexia/bulimia hotline number is 1-800-227-4785.

I have a last thought and although, I don’t want to sound cheesy or cliché, I will probably sound both here: Everyone has different parts about them that make them so wonderfully unique. For some, it’s curly hair that takes no effort to look gorgeous. Others have that squishy part around their stomach that makes them so great to hug. And others have an adorably crooked nose. Enjoy them! Love them! You are you and no one else can be you. Love that you.

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Something was made clear to me last year. I haven’t always been the real me. I was really good at hiding myself and letting others decide who I was, what I wanted and sometimes even what I cared about. No one really knew that I wanted to be different from that. Well, almost no one.

There was one guy who could find me in my hiding places and behind my different masks. He pushed me and challenged me to be real with people. He told me I was an amazing person and that world needed to see the real me. He urged me to speak up.

Ans so through my blog, I will show people who I really am. I will expose the big issues that are really important to me and encourage you to at least open your mind to them. Some issues might be controversial and you may disagree with me. If that happens, I urge you to respectfully disagree with me and even share your own thoughts on the matter.  If you agree with me, I urge you to spread the word on these issues yourself and get others involved.

Whatever the case, I hope that Writing Wings can bring light issues that need to be heard and taken care of. The blog is going to change tones again but I can no longer sit back and watch things happen without at least trying to help. That’s like watching someone get beat up and then walking past them without so much as a second glance of concern.

Stop helping issues hide.  Let’s let them be seen in every color, good and bad alike. No matter who we are, we can do something. If nothing more than getting the buzz started or spreading it a bit more.

I’ll start posting regularly again as I find important issues. But this is enough for my introductory post. Stick around because posts will be flying in quickly.

Yours truly,

Author Faerie

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